by Stephen Em

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written and recorded fall 2015

inspired by a particularly challenging ordeal


released August 7, 2016



all rights reserved


Stephen Em Boston, Massachusetts

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Track Name: night of 2001
a night of strange occurrences
a point of axis for the real past and
present and future
also imagined...

...horrors that eventually
became reality
if only to me

and somehow you too
came back in a real way
and every shade was visible again
of you
an uneclisped moon
Track Name: falling moon
falling through
what life we knew

why do you want to crush
your own creations into dust
and ash that scatters into drains

the blood out of our faces
watching as our future disappears
with no remains

holding hands and
silent prayers with
strangers in the square

tryin' hard
to embrace
our overwhelming fear

the physics warp of gravity
as bodies stretch and rip then rend
disconnected from any uniformity

I jolt awake
my sheets are damp
the morning calls
but I can't help to think
why must death torment its prey?
Track Name: greyzone
I promise not to take tomorrow for granted
I promise to be nicer to my friends

at least while in this grey zone
flittering between life and death

I promise to try to find a good girl
to settle down with and have a kid
I'll try my best to live a clean life, if I can

I promise no more spiritual bullshit
I now know that I'm a god fearing man

at least while in this grey zone
flittering between life and death
Track Name: obscured
obscured and blind
to everything outside
believe me I've tried
to be friendly and to smile

but I've been sick for a while
decomposing in this mire
I know that time doesn't rewind
so what's left of it is mine

I'd be happy to attempt
to progress again
but in light of this predicament
the pursuit of "fitting in"
just seems so meaningless

failing something so simple is inexcusable
but being ill-prepared
also isn't fair

I'm a prick
I know
I wish it wasn't so
but it is
I guess all I can ask for is forgiveness

but it's all unknown
for now anyway
this cocoon
is either my birth
or my grave
Track Name: the river
I walk down to the river
where you drowned
and you left me

can't remember how to get there
that dreadful place
where you laid your soul to waste

It's such a shame
to see a young man slain
by his doubts
that manifest as real pain

what the hell am I going through
with one foot out the door
and the other one super glued

to you
Track Name: untitled iv
my morbid fascination
and poor approximation
of a life of suffering
is now confounding
doesn't life have more to offer me
don't I get a claim to peace

maybe not, but we all decease
and I guess that's equality enough
at least

out on the streets
there are stomachs that are dying to feed
and people with real blood to bleed
and then there's me
drenched in self-pity
like some kind of cry baby

but it's also a form of entropy
albeit somewhat discreet

yet still a rocking roller coaster seat
shaking loose, slipping free
Track Name: this time tomorrow
if I get another chance
then I swear that I'm a new man
what's the point of a quick life
when it's ended by a drawn out demise

I guess there's beauty in the comedown
all the way to the underground
in the end we are all fucked
whether you go down in flames or go down in peace

meet me this time tomorrow
if you've got nothing better to do
I need some relief
after the hell I've been through

to face judgement a fifth time
has me poundin' my fists on the ground
maybe this time tomorrow
maybe this time tomorrow
miles and miles to go
but maybe tomorrow I'll know

these lost pieces of me
may never be retrieved
but I guess I'm okay
at least as much
as I'll ever be